Beginning of the DC FanFicverse
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: DC has its DC EXTENDED UNIVERSE. Marvel has its MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. what if there was a DC COMICS world where everyone was so goshdarn silly, what if Kryptonite never existed and only girly magazines and condoms are weaknesses? what if Batman was adopted by Hippolyta? WHY AM I ASKING YOU THIS? READ AND DISCOVER THE TRUTH
**BEGINNING OF THE DC FANFICVERSE**

 **In the beginning, God and a man named Bob Kane played rugby that would decide the creation of the DC verse**

 **God won…by a landslide. 1,500,000 points**

 **Thus, in the crucible of the big bang the verse was born**

 **First Krypton was built… then it exploded, rendering all forms and colors of Kryptonite completely useless**

 **However, Krypton's next door neighbor had a very, very, very, VERY long delay to its demise**

 **It exploded on the day Metropolis and Gotham were city neighbors**

 **The rocket containing Superman landed in the Kent farm. You know this by now**

 **Some kid's parents got shot dead by a thug in an alley**

 **Then said orphaned kid got adopted by QUEEN HIPPOLYTA**

 **More on her later**

 **Hippolyta birthed a new baby girl named Diana. Diana grew from Wonder Baby, to Wonder Toddler, to Wonder Girl, to Wonder Teenager, and finally to Wonder Woman**

 **Bruce grew from orphan to first Amazon child and to well the GODDAMN BATMAN**

 **Clark Kent grew from country redneck to awkward guy to SUPERMAN**

 **SUPERMAN had one and only ONE WEAKNESS… girly magazines, man's very own kryptonite**

 **SUPERGIRL, on the other hand was adopted by QUEEN HIPPOLYTA and her Amazons**

 **SUPERGIRL also suffered a MAJOR BRAIN INJURY upon landing on Earth**

 **If this reminds you of a certain anime show in particular, then no kidding**

 **FYI- Supergirl does NOT, REPEAT DOES NOT HAVE AN EVIL AUNT OR IS PLAYED BY AN ACTRESS FROM GLEE BUT VOICED BY THE ACTRESS FROM GLEE AND MADE MUCH MORE SILLIER AND GOOFIER THAN HER TV COUNTERPART. SUCK IT CBS**

 **SUPERGIRL has one and only ONE WEAKNESS…abstinence.**

 **Why abstinence? Because SUPERGIRL is…BISEXUAL**

 **WONDER WOMAN later found out she's JEWISH**

 **WORLD WAR TWO ENDED REALLY QUICKLY WHEN ADOLF HITLER DIED IN A FAILED BOMBING, AND IN 1945 THE ADOLF HITLER THAT TRIED TO SHOOT HIMSELF WAS ACTUALLY AN ACTOR WHO WAS HIRED BY HOLLYWOOD TO IMPERSONATE HITLER FOR THEIR FIRST EVER DOCUMENTARY**

 **THE DOCUMENTARY WON MANY AWARDS**

 **IT EVEN WON BEST PICTURE, EVEN BEATING SOME STUPID ANIMATED MOVIE ABOUT A TALKING PUPPET AND A VERY ANNOYING CRICKET**

 **Later…**

 **SUPERMAN marries WHINY REPORTER LOIS LANE**

 **BATMAN adopts BOY SCOUT DICK GRAYSON and makes him the first ROBIN**

 **(little did BATMAN know, more ROBINS would soon follow…)**

 **BATMAN's second ROBIN JASON TODD GOT BEATEN UP BY JOKER AND GOT KILLED IN A WAREHOUSE**

 **(in reality, Joker got Jason Todd severely drunk, beaten him into a coma and ran off with his mother, pretending to light the warehouse on fire)**

 **(Jason Todd survived and spent several years in rehab until adopted by QUEEN HIPPOLYTA)**

 **SUPERGIRL grows from bright baby to bright child to not so bright and very, very, very, VERY STUPID woman who had only one sane and competent sister**

 **(SUPERGIRL's birth parents were so stressed by SUPERGIRL's idiocy that they made Alex SUPERGIRL's legal guardian and both of them fled to Canada)**

 **Some hot Italian bombshell migrated to America and became Gotham's all around sweetheart Helena Bertinelli. You know her as HUNTRESS**

 **HUNTRESS became a much beloved schoolteacher at a child care school**

 **HUNTRESS later fell in love with and married OLIVER QUEEN alias GREEN ARROW**

 **HIPPOLYTA birthed DINAH WILLOW PRINCE, soon to be named BLACK CANARY**

 **BLACK CANARY is destined to be PRINCESS OF THEMYSCIERA by ROYAL BLOOD**

 **BATMAN adopts whiny geeky nerd TIM DRAKE and makes him the third ROBIN**

 **The third ROBIN proves to be a major disappointment and also a major NERD**

 **BATMAN tried several times to dispose of ROBIN because HES THE GODDAMN BATMAN**

 **Some guy named BLACK MASK won custody over ROBIN in a $40,000,000 lawsuit**

 **(little did BATMAN know he'd be working with BLACK MASK sooner than he'd think…)**

 **DICK GRAYSON (remember him?) moved to some dirty crummy town named Bludhaven and married a pretty cop lady and birthed several illegitimate children**

 **BATMAN sued the new couple for marrying without his permission because HES THE GODDAMN BATMAN**

 **Some guys at a comic book company that shouldn't be named redesigned the DC verse and called it New 52**

 **THE DC WORLD WAS OUTRAGED**

 **HIPPOLYTA HIRED BLACK MASK, MR ZSASZ, POISON IVY, HUSH, CHARAXES, KILLER CROC, BATWOMAN, RIDDLER, AND SO MANY OTHER GUYS YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD OF TO JOIN HER NEWLY DESIGNED JUSTICE LEAGUE**

 **In 2016, an American author named MR BRAM STOKER had the genius idea of making a fully syndicated fanfic comedy series revolving around the entire DC COMICS universe**

 **Also in 2016, some lousy CBS show called Supergirl got cancelled along with an even more stupid show named Zoo**


End file.
